Write me a funny joke, make it pretty entertaining and long, original please.

Answers

Answer 1
One time I made a belt out of $100 bills.. I guess you could say it was a waist of money.

This ain’t funny but

Related Questions

you are the computer system administrator for a medium size company. you can monitor the company's network from from home and you frequently

Answers

As a computer system administrator for a mid-size company, if you monitor the company network from home and frequently work from home with your company's laptop, it is crucial to follow ethical principles and policies governing computer usage. In such situations, lending your laptop to someone else, such as your niece, can raise ethical issues.

In general, company-issued laptops are meant to be used solely for company-related work and not for personal activities, including checking email. Allowing your niece to use the laptop to check her email breaches this policy and could lead to the dissemination of confidential or sensitive information that could affect the company's operations. Furthermore, allowing someone else to use a company-issued device means that they may access proprietary or confidential information that they are not authorized to view.

As a result, this could result in the exposure of confidential information, which could damage the company's reputation and security. To avoid these ethical dilemmas, you can either avoid sharing the laptop or ensure that your niece is aware of the company's policies and the possible consequences if she violates them. You can also remind her that she should not share the laptop with anyone else and make sure that she uses it only for the intended purpose, i.e., checking email.

Also, it is advisable to use a guest account instead of your main account. Using a guest account, you can set restrictions on the use of the device and limit access to confidential data. If you cannot create a guest account, you can restrict the access of the user account to prevent unauthorized access to confidential data.

The question was incomplete, Find the full content below:

You are the computer system administrator for a mid-size company. You can monitor the company network from home, and you frequently work from home with your company's laptop. Your niece, a college student, is visiting for a week. Her phone battery is dead, and she asks if she can use the laptop to check her email. Sure, you say. Is there any ethical issue?

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Adam Smith's work combines morality with political economy. How do the particular moral principles he used in his work compare to the moral principles of the Greeks, the Medieval Philosophers and the early modern authors such as Mandeville? Did Adam Smith just adopt the moral analyses of these earlier authors on economics or did he set out to do something completely different?

Answers

The moral principle used by Adam Smith is called as Theory of Moral Sentiments. He adopted the moral analysis on the economics.

Who was Adam Smith?

Adam Smith is one of the most popular economist and philosopher of the eighteen century. He is also known as the founding father of the modern economics.

In his Theory of Moral Sentiments, Adam Smith constructed a complete and uncommon form of moral sentimentalism. He did not explicitly put forth a political ideology in the same way.

He does intend to blur the line between theoretical and everyday reasoning. This philosophical aim is not unrelated to his political interest in ensuring ordinary people's "natural liberty" to act according to their own judgements.

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One day, 3-year-old Mary Alice stepped into the kitchen and proudly announced that she was dressed for school. She had on a pair of flowered pants and a clashing plaid shirt. Nothing about her outfit matched. Mary Alice's mother was so dismayed that she said, "I can't take you out looking like a clown. Go immediately to your room and put something decent on." According to Erikson, Mary Alice will most likely develop a sense of

Answers

Answer:

guilt 100% sure

Explanation:

for not wearing something decent mary's mom got upset making mary feel guilty.

hope i helped

-lvr

Which statement is a fact about the cowboy way of life?

A. Cowboys were Anglo American men who were law-abiding.

B. Cowboys often used dogs to help corral cattle in a roundup.

C. Cowboys rode horses for 18 hours a day and faced serious dangers such as stampedes.

D. Cowboys were paid high wages.

Answers

Answer:

I think the answer is A

Explanation:

Cowboys were Anglo-American men who were law-abiding, which is a fact about the cowboy way of life.

Who was a cowboy?

Cowboy used to represent western America in the nineteenth century.  Cowboys use to ranch and work with horses, herd cattle and sheep. They earn a decent monthly salary as they are great folk heroes.

Therefore, the icon became an essential part of the Western expansion of the US.

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Juniper have spread into the grassland of the Texas hill country. Studies show that removing Junipers allows more water to reach native grasses in this area. How do we know weather these conclusions are valid?

Answers

The validity of the conclusion that removing Junipers allows more water to reach native grasses in the Texas hill country, can be determined through scientific studies, peer review, replication, and long-term monitoring.

To determine the validity of the conclusions that removing Junipers allows more water to reach native grasses in the Texas hill country, various approaches can be employed:

1. Scientific studies:

Conducting controlled experiments and scientific studies specifically focused on the relationship between Juniper presence and water availability to native grasses can provide empirical evidence to support or refute the conclusions. These studies should be well-designed, employing proper methodologies and statistical analyses.

2. Peer review:

Subjecting the studies and research findings to rigorous peer review ensures that they are evaluated by independent experts in the field. Peer review helps identify any potential flaws in the methodology, analysis, or interpretation of the data, increasing the overall validity of the conclusions.

3. Replication of results:

Replicating the studies and experiments by independent researchers can help verify the conclusions. If multiple studies consistently yield similar results, it enhances the confidence in the validity of the conclusions.

4. Long-term monitoring:

Conducting long-term monitoring of areas where Junipers have been removed can provide valuable data on the changes in water availability to native grasses over time. This allows for a more comprehensive understanding of the relationship between Juniper removal and water availability.

By employing these scientific methods, rigorous evaluation, and long-term monitoring, it is possible to assess the validity of the conclusions regarding the impact of Juniper removal on water reaching native grasses in the Texas hill country.

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Why do the central northern states have fewer people per square mile?​

Why do the central northern states have fewer people per square mile?

Answers

Answer:

B. They are smaller states with lots of people

why are more sources available for the study of the medieval period as compared to the ancient?​

Answers

Medieval period people had much more access to paper. So most of the historical data of this period was recorded in textual format on paper documents. Infact, because of this availability of paper, the volume of the historical records of the medieval period was much more than that of the ancient period.

where is Allahabad in map​

Answers

Answer:

Uttar Pradesh

Explanation:

Allahabad is in the northern state of Uttar Pradesh, which is ruled by the Hindu nationalist Bharatiya Janata Party (BJP). The state government has said the decision was taken to restore the city's ancient identity as a major Hindu pilgrimage centre.

Explain the functions of the political parties and their role in the electoral process at state and local levels

Answers

Answer:

Political parties perform an important task in government. They bring people together to achieve control of the government, develop policies favorable to their interests or the groups that support them, and organize and persuade voters to elect their candidates to office. Although very much involved in the operation of government at all levels, political parties are not the government itself, and the Constitution makes no mention of them.

Answer:

the above ans is right

tysm

A penny saved is a penny earned.” What do you think that quote means?

Answers

Answer:

I say that when you save a penny, you are kind off earning it because you are not spending it.

Explanation:

Best thing to do is not spend and save money.

A penny earned is a penny saved is a quote used to make you understand that money is important to save.

What is a quote?

A quote is a collection of words or phrases that is a line or two that is being taken from a book, novel a person saying, or a speech. These words are taken as it is from the sourced document and these are the words that are taken the same from the author without any editing or changes done or even the essence of this quote is not lost.

The quote A penny earned is a penny saved explains the importance of money in life. The money here means that if we earn money and then do not spend it or do any sort of expenses, that can be considered as the money earned also.

For example, if you earn $100 and save $25 then that money if put in term deposit will generate you more money. This example clearly justifies the quote.

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Social Exchange Theory

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Social exchange theory is a sociological and psychological perspective that explains social behavior in terms of a cost-benefit analysis. According to this theory, people are rational decision-makers who engage in social interactions based on the rewards and costs that they perceive to be associated with those interactions.

Rewards may include social approval, financial gain, and emotional support, while costs may include time, effort, and emotional stress.

Social exchange theory is often used to explain why people form and maintain relationships, as well as why they may end them. For example, the theory suggests that people will continue to invest in a relationship as long as the rewards outweigh the costs. However, if the costs become too high or the rewards too low, individuals may choose to end the relationship.

The theory also helps to explain why people may engage in behaviors that are not necessarily in their best interest, such as staying in an abusive relationship. In such cases, the rewards of the relationship (such as love or security) may be perceived to outweigh the costs (such as physical harm or emotional abuse).

Overall, social exchange theory provides a framework for understanding how individuals make decisions in social situations, and how these decisions can affect the outcomes of their relationships.

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Milton is retiring on his 65th birthday. He is eligible for Medicare and already receives Social Security benefits. How does he enroll in Original Medicare?

Answers

Answer:

Answer to the following question is as follows;

Explanation:

If seniors currently receive Social Security payments, you will be automatically registered in Medicare Parts A and B during the first week of the month following your 65th birthday. The three months leading up to your 65th birthday are the optimum time to enrol in Medicare.

How did the creation of military plans help draw the nations of Europe into World War 1? In your opinion, what should today's national and military leaders have learned from the military plans that helped initiate World War 1?

Answers

The military strategies developed prior to World War I assumed a big conflict between the nations that were allied with one another.

Germany believed that if a war broke out, it would have to fight on both the western and eastern fronts because the Triple Entente included Britain, France, and Russia as allies. In order to combat Russia in the east, German Field Marshall Alfred von Schlieffen devised war plans that called for an immediate attack on France followed by the holding of that land. Germany therefore launched an attack on France as soon as it declared war on Russia in 1914. As a result, the battle quickly spread and became a more global fight.

While forming alliances and committing to military action, national leaders in politics and the military need to learn to exercise caution. The all-out escalation of war that was witnessed at the start of World War I is preferable to restrained, limited military activity. Even if military options have been planned in advance, diplomacy should be given the best chance to succeed before turning to them.

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In order to become a naturalized citizen of the United States

Answers

Answer:

Requirements to become a U.S citizen.

Be at least 18 years of ageBe a permanent resident for a certain amount of years (usually 5)Be able to read, write, and understand basic EnglishLive in the same state for the last 3 monthsNot a serious felon/criminalLoyalty and knowledge of the U.S Constitution + GovernmentBe willing to take an oath of allegianceDemonstrate good moral character

For this application, you will write about the use of dialogue in "Framed." Your total response will be one paragraph of about 250 words in length. Respond to these in your paragraph:
In your own words, describe how the writer uses the words the characters say to show the reader their personalities.
Locate at least one quote of dialogue from the story that shows what you mean.
How can you use dialogue effectively in your own writing?

Answers

Dialogue in "Framed" reveals characters' personalities. For example, when Sarah says, "You've always been the cautious one," it shows Emma's tendency for caution and hints at character development. Effective use of dialogue involves aligning it with characters, advancing the plot, and balancing realism and purpose.

In "Framed," the writer skillfully employs dialogue to portray the unique personalities of the characters. Through their words, the writer reveals the distinct traits, attitudes, and perspectives of each individual, creating a vivid and engaging narrative.

One example of this can be seen in a conversation between the protagonist, Emma, and her best friend, Sarah. As Sarah exclaims, "I can't believe you're actually considering taking that risk! You've always been the cautious one," the reader gains insights into Emma's character.

The dialogue not only demonstrates Emma's tendency to prioritize safety but also suggests that she may be stepping out of her comfort zone. This exchange enhances the reader's understanding of Emma's personality and sets the stage for character development.

To effectively use dialogue in one's own writing, several strategies can be employed. Firstly, it is crucial to ensure that the dialogue aligns with the characters' personalities, backgrounds, and motivations. Each character should have a distinct voice, with dialogue that reflects their unique traits and perspectives.

Additionally, dialogue can be used to advance the plot and reveal important information or conflicts. By incorporating subtext and implied meanings, dialogue can add depth and complexity to the story.

Furthermore, it is essential to strike a balance between realistic dialogue and concise, purposeful communication. Too much dialogue can overwhelm the reader, while too little can leave the characters feeling underdeveloped.

Finally, using dialogue tags and attributions can help clarify the speaker and provide context, but they should be used sparingly and effectively to avoid excessive repetition. By employing these techniques, writers can utilize dialogue as a powerful tool to bring their characters to life and engage readers in their narratives.

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Help Plsssss
Why did most Southern slaveholders resist abolition efforts to free enslaved people?
1.Slavery was used to organize the social class system among Southerners.
2Slavery was viewed as a critical factor of the Southern economy.
3Slavery provided the South with greater political representation in Congress.
4Slavery contributed to the military strength of the United States

Answers

Answer:

2. Slavery was viewed as a critical factor of the Southern economy

Explanation:

hope i helped

Any four Uses of oil

Answers

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Four uses of oil are

cookingBeauty supplies petrol and diesel plastics ( it's formed from crued oil )

Country
GDP
Luxembourg 55,096,000,000
United States 14,852,400,000,000
Spain
1.407, 405,000,000
Mexico
1,039,662,000,000
Source: World Bank (2010)
GDP per capita
108,921
47,184
30,542
9,166
Which of the following is a true statement based on the chart? (1 point)
Luxembourg must have the highest GDP per capita but a lower GDP because it has a lower population than the other countries.
Spain is ranked third out of these four countries in both GDP and GDP per capita because it does not have a diverse economy
The chart has several mistakes in it because the country with the highest GDP should also have the highest GDP per capita,
The United States has the highest GDP but not the highest GDP per capita because per capita means for the capital city of the country

CountryGDPLuxembourg 55,096,000,000United States 14,852,400,000,000Spain1.407, 405,000,000Mexico1,039,662,000,000Source:

Answers

Answer:

A

Explanation:

Process of elimination.

B is wrong because Spain has a fairly diverse economy and anyways, diversification of the economy has little to do with GDP & GDP p. capita

C is wrong because they're two different measurements.

D is wrong because that's not what GDP per capita means

Haley: Would you get a move on? Are you deaf?1
Kenneth: I’m going! Would you just wait a second?2
Haley: Sorry, but I’m just anxious to meet Francis. I think he gypped some of my tips from last night.3
Kenneth: What? Francis wouldn’t do that! He always splits the tips between the wait staff fairly. Besides he’s Catholic. He would never steal.4
Haley: Right, because you wouldn’t say anything at all to defend your best friend.5
Kenneth: I wouldn’t!6
Haley: You’re a guy, Kenneth. All boys stick together. It’s a part of your code or something.7
Kenneth: Now you’re just being unreasonable. I guess you can’t help it. You’re young after all.8
Haley: You’re one month older than me!9

What type of biased language can be found in Line 3?
a.
gender
b.
religion
c.
ethnicity
d.
race

Answers

The biased language found in Line 3 is "gypped".

Bias is a prejudice for or against one person or group, especially in a way that is unfair. The word "gypped" used in Line 3 indicates an anti-Romani bias. The term is derived from the word "gypsy," which is a slang word for a Romani person or group of people. The use of the word "gypped" reflects negatively on the Romani community, implying that they are dishonest and untrustworthy people.The following is the meaning of the word "gypped":To swindle or cheat someone is to gypped them. The word "gypped" is derived from the term "gypsy," which is a reference to the Romani people, who are sometimes accused of cheating or thieving.

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Three strategies to stop conflict in a class

Answers

Answer:

1. Being polite to every one.

2.Listening their thoughts

3.Sharing each other's emotions by maintaining peace.

what are the causes of melamchi drinking water project not being completed in time (any four)​

Answers

The disadvantage was the distance between Kathmandu and the Melamchi valley, which required a 28-kilometer tunnel to be built via challenging geological conditions. No other tunnel in the nation even comes close to being this long.

Are the water projects in Melamchi finished?

The Melamchi Water Supply Project (MWSP) is a project to divert 170,000,000 liters (45,000,000 US gallons) of water per day to provide drinking water to the Kathmandu Valley. The project began in 1998, and it will be finished in 2021.

Will the Melamchi project's completion solve the drinking water issues in the Kathmandu Valley?

Project Post-Mortem By the time the project is finished and Kathmandu Valley has the necessary infrastructure, treatment techniques, and distribution capacity, there should be no water shortage (Udmale et al.

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laboratory strategies that the South African government can implement to curb an ongoing problem of Human Rights violation in our country​

Answers

Answer:

In summary, to address the ongoing problem of human rights violations in South Africa, the government can implement strategies such as strengthening legal frameworks, increasing public awareness and education, and encouraging community participation.

PLS HELP I GIVE BRAINLIEST Compose a diary for one week in the life of a status offender or juvenile delinquent. Include comments on his or her home and school life, daily activities, friends, and thoughts and feelings about his or her life and behavior. Try to portray a solid picture of this young person through your
diary entries. How would you solve the problems of the particular “status offender” whose diary you composed? What do you think he or she needs the most? How would you go about helping this young person get these needs met?

Answers

The composed diary in the life of the offender has been done below.

The diary of the life of a status offender

Day 1: Monday

Woke up in a small room at the juvenile detention center. It's always the same routine here, but I still can't get used to it.Had breakfast and then went to school. It's not the best, but it's better than nothing.Met with my probation officer today. She's always on my case about how I need to change. I know I've made mistakes, but it's not like anyone ever gave me a chance.Had a fight with one of the other kids here after school. It's always so tense and everyone is just looking for a reason to start something.Thoughts: I'm tired of this place and all the people who treat me like I'm nothing. I just want to be able to go home and live a normal life.

Day 2: Tuesday

Had another argument with my mom today. She says she's tired of my behavior and that I need to change. I try to tell her that it's not that simple, but she doesn't listen.Went to therapy today. It's not my favorite thing to do, but I know it's supposed to help.Hung out with my friend, Carlos, after school. He's one of the few people who understand me. We talked about getting out of this place and starting fresh somewhere else.Thoughts: I hate the way my life is right now. I just want to be able to make a fresh start and be the person I know I can be.

Day 3: Wednesday

Had a meeting with my school counselor today. She says she wants to help me get back on track, but I don't know if I believe her.Went to a job training program after school. It's actually kind of cool and I'm learning a lot.Had dinner with my family. It was awkward and tense, as usual.Thoughts: I'm starting to feel like there might be a way out of this mess after all. But I need to stay focused and keep working towards my goals.

Day 4: Thursday

Had a really good day at school today. I got an A on a test and my teacher said I was doing a great job.Had a basketball game after school. It was a close game, but we ended up winning.Went to a youth group meeting after the game. It's nice to be around other kids who are trying to do better for themselves.Thoughts: I'm feeling hopeful today. Maybe things are finally starting to look up for me.

Day 5: Friday

Had a rough day at school today. Got in trouble for talking back to a teacher.Had a family therapy session after school. It's always so tense and everyone just argues.Hung out with Carlos and some other friends after therapy. We just kicked back and tried to forget about everything for a little while.Thoughts: I don't know what's going to happen to me. I just want to be able to make a fresh start and leave all this behind.

Day 6: Saturday

Spent the day cleaning up the park with a volunteer group. It was actually kind of fun and I felt like I was doing something good for the community.Went to a movie with Carlos and some other friends. It was a good escape from reality for a while.Thoughts: I'm starting to feel like there might be a way for me to turn my life around after all.

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What is relationship between cultural artifacts and the values, beliefs and livelihoods and identities of cultures that provide them?

Answers

Answer:

The artifacts in a way resemble what was going thru a particular societies mindset at that particular time period

Explanation:

Please help meeeeeee

Please help meeeeeee

Answers

Answer: Natural, resources, coal, wind, energy, cars, power, enable, economic, processes.

Explanation: Coal and wind can be switched as well as power and enable

What spare the reason of social problem creation? ​

Answers

Social problems can be created due to factors such as systemic inequalities, lack of resources, discrimination, and societal norms that perpetuate inequality.

The creation of social problems can be attributed to various factors, including systemic inequalities, lack of access to resources and opportunities, social and economic disparities, inadequate education and healthcare systems, discrimination and prejudice, ineffective governance, and cultural or societal norms that perpetuate inequality and marginalization. Additionally, factors such as poverty, unemployment, substance abuse, crime, and environmental degradation can contribute to the development of social problems. It is important to recognize the complex interplay of these factors and address them comprehensively to mitigate and prevent the creation of social problems.

In conclusion, the creation of social problems stems from a combination of factors including systemic inequalities, limited access to resources, discrimination, and cultural norms that perpetuate inequality. Addressing these factors comprehensively is essential to mitigate and prevent the emergence of social problems in society.

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Reread the Preamble to the Constitution. Explain how enumeration helps Madison convey a great deal of information in a compact space.

Answers

Answer:

This month's Presidents and the Constitution focuses on James Madison, “Father ... Madison demonstrated a strict interpretation of the Constitution's enumeration of ... It was clear that without significant improvements in the nation's infrastructure, ... He explained that “The legislative powers vested in Congress are specified.

Explanation:

Prezels

The Preamble of the Constitution was vital as it helped in communicating the intentions that the Framers had.

The Preamble was seen as the introduction to the law in the land. It helped in communicating and letting the people know what the Constitution will be about.

The Preamble helped in stating how justice will be established and the promotion of the general welfare of the people in the country.

In conclusion, the enumeration was vital in helping Madison as it showed the powers that Congress also had.

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To find the quotient of 8 divided by one-third, multiply 8 by

Answers

Answer: multiply 8 by 3

Explanation: Since the 8 ÷ 1/3 is 24, you would keep change flip which would make the problem 8 x 3/1 and 8 x 3 = 24

Have a Awesome Friday and happy to help

Answer:

24

Explanation:

What is GDP? the total profit that all the corporations in an economy make in one year the total amount of money that consumers in an economy have to spend the total amount of goods and services that a nation produces within a year the total expenses used to produce all the goods and services in a nation

Answers

GDP is the monetary value that includes all the goods and products made during the year within the country.

In other words, we can say that all the goods and products made in a year within the boundaries of the country is called GDP. These products should be made within the boundaries of the country without minding whether they are made up by an MNC company or by the company of its own country.

Hence by the above explanation, we came to know that GDP plays an important role in developing the economy of the country, as much as the production rate is increasing the economy of the country also starts developing. if the country's economy starts developing then the country is said to be a developing country on the other hand if the country's economy is already high it is said to be a fully developed country.

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Answer:

its C trust me have a good day:)

Explanation:

why does the centeral intelligence agency have more freedom of action that that of othr federal agencies

Answers

The Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) has greater freedom of action compared to other federal agencies due to its role in intelligence gathering and covert operations, allowing it to operate with higher levels of secrecy and independence.

What makes the Central Intelligence Agency have more Freedom of Action?

Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) possesses a higher degree of operational liberty relative to other federal agencies as a result of its involvement in intelligence collection and covert missions, operating with enhanced secrecy and fewer constraints.

This affords the CIA increased independence and flexibility in conducting its intelligence operations.

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Plz help me vocabulary Identify the judiciary power that the office of attorney general has in common with the supreme court. The ready position prepares you for fast _________. Group of answer choices balancing physical readiness visual cues reaction times Explain why nuclear fusion requires such high energies, but also releases such high energies. write any one character of social well being? What digestive tract changes take place in a monogastric herbivore to facilitate plant digestion? When you perpendicular-park you should, when possible, select a space that lets you drive into the facing space so that when you leave you will:a. Not have to back outb. Be able to back out of your space and the one behind you giving you more practicec. Already have your wheels straightd. None of the above is correct Which selection best describes how the excerpt is structured?A Chapter llis about the gladiator games at specific funerals: Chapter XI is about the gladiator games put on by specific emperors. B. Chapter it is about how the gladiator games began in Rome: Chapter XI is about why the gladiator games ended in Rome. OC Chapter il is about the gladiator games under Julius Caesar, Chapter XI is about the gladiator games under Constantine the GreatD. Chapter is about why the emperors chose to put on gladiator games: Chapter XI is about why religious converts participated in the games. CA-CCSS 8x+12=-3x+3+31 show algebraic work plz What's the formula of finning pressure what is computer science Pls Use ELIMINATION! I WILL MAKE U BRAINLIST Intel, innovation that excites? In the segment below, QV = 23. QT = 8. TR = RS = SV. what is the total surplus if bob buys a unit from carlos? $ 10 b. what is the total surplus if barb buys a unit from courtney? $ 7 c. what is the total surplus if bob buys a unit from chad? $ 5 d. if you match up pairs of buyers and sellers so as to maximize the total surplus of all transactions, what is the largest total surplus that can be achieved? The author regards the work of Dr. Jack Kevorkian with determine the moment of inertia ixx of the sphere in appendix a ex- pressed in terms of its total mass, m. the material has a constant density rho and a uniform mass distribution. Give an ordered pair on the graph and explain its meaning in the real world context. 2. Frequencies :AA:___Aa:___aa:____ Genotypes:P1:____F1:_____ -12=-(2x + 8) explanation